so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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