no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
