i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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