So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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