Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize