garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
