Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
