I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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