Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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