ya dads aren't the best wingmen
the condom got lost in my hair
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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