My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
