I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
