Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
