Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
