my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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