so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
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He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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