the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
God, I missed his penis.
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