i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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