I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
