Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
