I puked a lego.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
