she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
