At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
