By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize