ugly people sure do ruin things
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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