CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
