Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
