I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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