She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
