you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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