just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
