did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
