As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
