yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
