so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Randomize
