There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize