just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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