Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
