I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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