I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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