What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the condom got lost in my hair
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
