Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
