If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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