Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
