you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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