I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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