that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
