i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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