How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
