I wish my penis had an off switch
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize