If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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