help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
