Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
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ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
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I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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