Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
