i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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