I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize