You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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