Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm both gender and math confused
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize