The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
