Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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