Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
