he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
