hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
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I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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