I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
