i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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