i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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