you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
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Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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