i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
