Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize