God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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